I Wanna Be Different: Allowing Faith To Change Your Heart Through The Unknown

“Take this beating in my heart and come and finish what you started. Jesus can you stop these things? Can you stop the cancer? Can you stop the storms? But HE has chosen not to stop these things just yet. And I’m finding out that sometimes the best question is not Jesus can you change these things around me? But instead God can you CHANGE ME so that I can handle the things that you’re walking me through . . .”Micah Tyler (Musician) 

This morning as I took my little dog Groot outside to do his daily doodies this morning.  A breeze came through that brought a smile to my face. l looked down and saw that the breeze had some of Groot’s fur stand up and I chuckled. I then looked up at the blue sky to reflect on the quietness that surrounded me. Something I’m getting use to out here in North Carolina. Eventually Groot and I came back into our home as I sat on the couch for some Jesus time. Groot made his way to rest on my chest under my chin. I asked him if he was comfortable as I was losing patience so that I could dive into the word. Reading in Galations 2 and 3 about the Justification of Faith. Feeling encouraged, when I was done I looked to my right as I have doors with these big glass windows and blinds, seeing the sun shine through and beaming on my face to feel the warmth on my skin was comforting and made me at ease. Something so simplistic and peaceful can be such a great start to your day. I eventually reflected back on these last few years. Where God has taken me and what HE has brought me through. At the beginning I was fighting back tears, but then in a moment’s time I just let the flood gates open. However those tears reflected nothing but pure thankfulness and unspeakable joy. It still amazes me to this day of where I was at two years ago mentally and emotionally to where I’m at now. Two years ago I was in a deep state of depression due to my skeletons coming up from the ground to haunt me from my past sexual abuse. Over a year ago I had an early miscarriage following around the holidays of that same year with my mom having a mass growing in her brain that caused her to lose sight in her left eye. How about the day before Thanksgiving of last year when my husband gives me surprising news that his job is giving him a great opportunity for us to move out to North Carolina within a few months. I have felt my life in the last few years has been like an amusement park of rides. With my life going like a roller coaster to these deep dips and all these turns and circles. Dealing with struggles, hurts, pains and changes had really shaken up my Faith.

I know many of you out there are going through something right now. A change, struggle, moments of frustration. You may have been hurt, bruised, maybe feeling abandoned. Many of us have been wronged, lied to or cheated on. It’s so easy for some of us to get so caught up in our emotions and want to fight back and seek revenge. We may want others to hurt because we are hurting. We may feel like we are at a dead end. We may ask ourselves no one understands me. Some of us may be angry at what’s going on in today’s society. We may be so consumed by our struggles, hurt and pain that we don’t know where else to go or who to turn to. So we let our struggles, hurt, pain and changes dissolve us emotionally and mentally. How would I know? Because in many moments of my life, especially over these past few years I’ve allowed this gift of life slip through my fingers. Eight years ago when I was living in Los Angeles, my cousin Michael who I have always been close to growing up were hanging out one fall night in 2010. I was feeling discouraged and he wanted to go out and make new memories with me, his brother Moses and our cousin Cody. But I just wanted to sit in my self-pity and not do anything. I’m glad he slapped some reality in my face by simply saying these few words that I will NEVER forget, “Cuz, you can’t get these moments back.” So true. In life many of us have allowed precious and sentimental moments to pass us by from allowing our fears, insecurities, hurts, pains, worries, shame, guilt and doubts chain us down from living a full and purposeful life. Me already being an emotional person that I am, it’s okay to cry and to let out your frustration, anger and hurt but in a healthy state and solitude place or to a close friend or family member. It’s not healthy to bottle all that up inside. But when you’ve emptied your emotions out, that’s when you gear up to fight by FAITH. I say this SO many times and I will continue to say this. . . I’m SO beyond thankful for the art and power of music. Since I heard Micah Tyler’s Song Different, besides the fact of making me break down into the presence of Jesus, it has helped changed my perspective on life and the things I can’t control. Life shouldn’t be about having these high expectations but how we should have a pure heart for when unexpected changes hit you that are out of your control. Even though I fall short on this prayer I admit, but it’s also helped me to have peace over the things I can’t change and to learn to LET GO and LET GOD have full control. Even if I have to say it a dozen times throughout the day I will because our human nature is so good at tricking our minds and keeping our heads down. We all know and have faced the facts that fears, insecurities, worries and doubts creep up on us a lot throughout our days. My simple prayer lately, “Lord, clean out these compartments of my heart and help me through this unknown.” I have these compartments of fear, anger, disappointment, anxiety, worries and frustration that I need to allow Jesus completely in to clean them all out and to fill them with HIS PEACE, LOVE, HOPE, GRACE and MERCY.  I believe without a doubt in my mind everyone has the strength to make that question/prayer their own. Having FAITH is what is going to continue to keep us moving forward. Having FAITH is what is going to continue to crush these lies of worry, doubts, fears, anxiety and insecurities that we have and carry. Having FAITH is what will bring smiles to our beautiful faces. Having FAITH is what gives us HOPE for each new day. Hold onto HIS promises that will lead to GREATER things. People take life one day at a time, I take life one moment at a time. Know in your heart, that you will find peace and joy that surpasses all your understandings. Life is a gift ya’ll and that gift should be lived FULLY! How would I know? Jesus died for all of us so that we can enJOY the fullness of life that HE alone brings.

Fashioned In Love Exercise: Exercise your Faith and and talk with God today to say, “Lord how can I be different in this situation. I allow you to change my heart for the better in this situation.” When you do, you’ll begin to feel the peace and freedom of letting GO and LETTING GOD take control. Feel free to also make it your own 😉 Will you take this HUGE leap of FAITH with me today? Remember and NEVER forget that we ALL are on this journey of LIFE together!

“I wanna be different//I wanna be changed//’Till all of me is gone//And all that remains//Is a fire SO bright//The whole world can see//That there’s something different//So come and be different. . . Micah Tyler


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